What do you do when it all falls apart?

Today’s normally chipper blog post was all set to go out. I had it already written and prepared.

But I found that I just couldn’t send out a blog on how to follow your dreams (don’t worry – you’ll still get it next week! And it’s a good one!)

Today, I’m acknowledging where I am and the state in which many people are right now: sad, dismayed, and angry.

I normally like to think of myself as apolitical (read: apathetic) but the sadness that I feel right now reminds me that we can never stand outside of our culture and community; we aren’t monks in a cave.

We are active participants in this world, whether we want to be or not.

What keeps coming to my mind are the monks in Tibet who were somehow able to still find compassion for their Communist oppressors, even under torture and isolation.

(Okay so maybe comparing the current political climate of the US to Tibet isn’t really fair, but the point is that compassion can be extended even under the harshest of circumstances.)

The only problem is, how do we do that? How do we react with love and kindness when we’re reeling with sadness and frustration?

Here’s what I’ve been working through, and I share this here from my heart.

1. This is my work – not anyone else’s. No one else needs to change in order for me to be happy.

The election is a chance to dig deep and see that whatever is showing up for me is my own work.

Because the anger and sadness I feel are not (and are never) caused by something or someone else, even though I would like to put the blame elsewhere. We get to choose our thoughts and emotions, at all times, and I am the only person that I can ever change.

2. What is showing up in the mirror?

This is also an opportunity to once again see the darkness that is within me, to recognize it, name it, and then to love it, too.

Do I think that I’m somehow better than those who have chosen to align with Mr. T?  Haven’t I also expressed sentiments that have hurt others? Haven’t we all seen a situation and judged it harshly from the basis of our own socio-economic upbringing (whether that be with sexism, racism, or general intolerance)?

This isn’t condoning. This isn’t apologizing. It’s owning and accepting who I am, even when I don’t want to see it.

My work is in saying, “Yes, I see that darkness because it’s also in me.”

3. The work also asks me to stand in what I know is right, without making anyone else wrong.

If we espouse tolerance of all people, then we must also extend that tolerance to those whose opinions aren’t the same as our own.

(I mean, would we really want a whole world full of people that looked and sounded just like us?)

4. A reminder not to take things personally.

Whatever is going on out there can only be taken in if I allow it to be taken in, if I allow things to be taken as a personal assault on my ego. And here again, it’s my choice.

5. A chance to practice mindfulness.

Can I accept what is and sink really deeply into the “isness” of all of life? 

What am I feeling right now, in this moment? Can I accept that feeling?

Can I see other things around that feeling, giving it space to breathe? Can I also notice the crisp fall air, the leaves on the ground, the smell of my tea?

Better yet, can I smile at all of this?

I hope that today, you do find time for things that bring you joy. Make time to create and grow and follow your best life ever.

But if, like me, you are also still a little bit sad, then I offer up this prayer for us all:

Dear Universe (Source/Spirit/God/Mother Earth),

Please…

• Open me to the beauty that is in each one of your creations.

• Grant me the compassion to see other’s pain and suffering, and to acknowledge it wisely.

• Show me how to express tolerance to all people.

• Guide me in ways to speak with love and kindness.

• Give me the strength to be present, with all that is, without judgment or frustration.

• Allow me to see that I alone have the power to change my thoughts and actions.

• Help me to acknowledge joy.

Mindfulness and acceptance are two of the tools I teach my clients. If you are in need of support, I offer one on one sessions in Atlanta, focused on creating a plan to move you forward with your amazing idea or passion, even in the midst of overwhelm and chaos.