Sometimes we put off doing the big things, the things we really want to do in our lives, because we’re too busy doing other things. And I know what that’s like; I did that for so many years – putting off following my dream of becoming an entrepreneur because I was busy working, getting married, raising kids.
And to be honest, I didn’t know at the time that it was fear that was holding me back from going after it. I was just kind of plodding along, doing what everyone does: you go to college, get a job, have kids. Even though I was always questioning “Is this it? This is all we do? Get up and go to a job that doesn’t light me up? Try to find something that will just tolerate my need for flexibility?”
If you, too, have that nagging feeling that there’s something out there that you’re really supposed to be doing, then you might want to examine what’s been holding you back.
At my Meetup group last night with some amazing women, we spoke about some of the things that were holding them back from going after their dreams. They mentioned some of the below as the reasons they weren’t doing what they really wanted to do. (I added a few others.)
Sound familiar?
- Apathy (I don’t care. I don’t feel like it.)
- Procrastination (Tomorrow. When I get motivated. There’s always time.)
- Distraction (Um, hello, TV and Facebook.)
- Undecided-ness (I have so many interests and dreams; I’m not even sure which one to pursue.)
- Overwhelm (Too many things to do. Not sure where to start. It’s too big.)
- Waiting for the perfect time (when the kids are in school, when the kids go to college, when your finances are in order, when you have more time)
- Believing that you need another degree or certification first
- Believing that you need money or investors first
- Believing that you need a concrete plan in place (and that you will know what the outcome looks like)
- Perfectionism (Everything has to look perfect before I can start. I have to have everything lined up exactly.)
- Interferes with your current job
- Too many other responsibilities (family, etc.)
I often think that one of the reasons people come in to life coaching is to feel normal, to feel as if their thoughts and rationale are something that everyone experiences.
So let me be the one to say that all of these fears are totally normal. Totally valid.
And that all entrepreneurs, small business owners, and start-up CEO’s experience these same fears. Maybe not every single one and all the time, but I will bet my house (um, sorry, honey) that every successful business owner you know has experienced at least some of these fears.
The only difference between them and someone who hasn’t started that business?
They acted.
Seriously. That’s the only difference. They got out there, in the arena, announced themselves and their big dreams to others, and started.
They took the first step of committing to themselves and saying “No more wasting time on Facebook. No more being distracted. No more giving time and energy to things that are not part of the grand vision of me. This is when I declare that my life and my purpose here on Earth are more important than all of those fears.”
Believe me, I know how scary it is to put yourself out there. I know what it’s like to declare something that isn’t “normal” or expected or even rational. And I’m sending you all so much love and compassion as you find the strength to take one tiny step towards whatever pulls at your heart – whatever that may be.
Because if you want to do what you love, if you want to live a life of inspired and meaningful success, then you are going to have to take a step. Any step.
Could you pick something easy as that first step? Maybe researching your dream job. Maybe talking with others about it.
