Wondering how to keep your New Year’s Resolutions?
Because it’s almost that time of year again! You might recognize some of these…
- Eat better
- Lose weight
- Be nicer
- get healthy new
- make more money
- Find my dream job
- Start a business
- Meet the love of my life
Sound familiar?
Okay, so I don’t want to rain on your parade, but your New year’s Resolutions are probably going to bite the dust somewhere between that fourth chocolate chip cookie and new episodes of your favorite Netflix original series. (BTW, I am totally, totally obsessed with this BBC series about the Vikings settling in England called The Last Kingdom. Awesomeness.)
But back to resolutions. I’m going to call them goals to make things easier.
You’ve probably already heard that if you want to make changes, then you have to set up SMART goals.
Essentially, make them measurable and actionable. So instead of just “lose weight”, try:
- I will go to the gym three times per week.
- I will eat salad for lunch three times per week.
- (And I’m going to measure all of this in my handy little tracker and make weekly checks as to how I’m progressing.)
Other keys to achieving your goals?
- Declare them publicly (a good use of Facebook!)
- Have conversations with your family members about what you intend to do – and make a plan of action for those mornings that you will go to the gym or make your salad
- Write them down. And not just once – often. Research shows that people who write down their goals frequently (like, every day!) are more likely to achieve them.
So now you’re like, okay, okay, Erin. I’ve heard all of that before. I know how to make SMART goals.
But maybe shit still hasn’t changed for you? So let’s talk about the real reasons that we can’t seem to make big changes.
No, you aren’t lazy. No, there isn’t something wrong with you. You are already whole, complete, and awesome.
I frequently tell my clients that we’re going to work through things on two levels – the uppermost stuff, you know, that normal “goal setting” I just wrote about, and then on the stuff beneath.
Because if you aren’t where you want to be, then I’m pretty sure that there’s a whole Titanic-crushing iceberg of subconscious and energetic stuff going on beneath the surface.
Changing your life isn’t only about changing the habits. You also have to find a process for changing the thoughts and the energies that are holding you back. Thoughts that you probably can’t even hear, unless you’re very tuned into your subconscious.
But these are the fears that are holding us back from going after those goals. And now here’s the really deep stuff:
Do you believe that you deserve to have abundance in all areas of your life, from your health to your finances?
You might be pooh-poohing that question, thinking that I’m crazy. But here’s the test: are you where you want to be in all parts of your life?
I was working through my own subconscious fears around making more money the other day (because there is never an end to working on yourself and I want to go even bigger) and came up with this great one:
I am scared of having too much money. Scared of what that would mean. Scared of what that would change in the delicate balance that is my marriage and my station in life.
Do I even really deserve to make huge money?
(Of course I do. That was hypothetical. Just letting you in on all of my dark secrets.)
The Love Bath Method
Once you’ve come up with your subconscious fears, then you have to acknowledge and then release them. My newest favorite way to release those little gremlins is what I like to call a love bath.
Essentially, any time I hear one of those nagging little thoughts, or experience the neck tension that likes to throw me for a loop, I just say to myself or to my neck, “I love you. I love you. I love you.” I keep repeating it until I really feel that deep love in every cell of my body. [I got this idea from the book Love Yourself and Let the Other Person Have It Your Way, recommended by my dear friend and Atlanta-based energy worker Amy Allen.]
But whatever works for you to release those fears is golden. Try it all: guided meditations, forgiveness work, thought-stopping, energy healing, release work, EFT/tapping, calling on the angels or spirits, life coaches (we are awesome), whatever.
I love Denise Duffield Thomas’s advice from Get Rich, Lucky Bitch:
Throw everything at it:
As long as your process enables you to dig down deep, see the fear, acknowledge it, and then to let it go again, it’s all good.
No matter what you choose, though, do create that process for yourself. Dedicate time to bring forth these changes, preferably in the mornings before anyone – or anything – can intrude.
As Glennon Moyle Delton of Momastery says, “you can do hard things.” You just have to start.
You must be logged in to post a comment.